2012 Resolution

This year, i am not making a resolution. Rather, i am taking a passage from the Bible, committing it to memory, and making it a focus in my life and how I live it this year:

2 Peter 1:2-8

May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord. By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Christmas Letter

2011 is practically in the history books. I didn't get to writing a letter this year to go with the Christmas cards I sent out, so I figured I'd just write it up here.

Payton is in 2nd grade and loves to read, draw, and watch Batman. He is monmy's little helper and learned how to ride his bike without training wheels this past summer. Ashleigh is 4 going on 13. She loves playing mini-mom and bossing her siblings around. She goes to preschool 2 days a week and is reading simple words. Addison is 3 and loves to be cuddled. She likes to clean (!) and loves all things Dora.

I continue to work at the church and school teaching and doing all publication works (bulletin, website etc) and Jason runs his own handy man service with a friend.

We've struggled with health and money issues this year as in past years, but God has also been carrying us and continues to show that he has us in the palm of His hand. Ashleigh had a second round of tubes put in her ears and her tonsils taken out in August and I had surgery in October. Ashleigh bounces back quick while it's been 3 months for me and I'm finally feeling back to myself.

Merry Christmas. May this season find you in the presence of loves ones and may you see the presence of God in your own life as we reflect upon the greatest gift ever given: Jesus Christ.

Back to school again!

I've been back at school now for a week and a half AND I directed a successful Christmas program last Sunday. Feels good to be back to well. The only thing that really still limits me is the exhaustion and mopping and vacuuming. Last week took a big hit out of me getting back into school and making final preparations for the play. But the play went so well that it was worth any setback I may have caused myself. I am blessed to lead such a wonderful puppet team and I also directed the children's choir and sang in the adult choir. 3 more days of school and then I can rest for another 2 weeks and then hope to be able to rev the engines and run as I used to. Looking forward to finding myself again and really allowing God to use me as a healthy woman for once on what seems like a long time. Also excited for an opportunity that may be coming our way. If you are the praying type, please join us on praying for Gods will and direction.

It's a Go!

It;s now been almost 7 weeks since my surgery and I feel great. I am still not 100% - I still have pain at times when I overdo, bend/twist oddly, or bend to pick things up from the floor. I still tire very easily but don't have to nap now. I got the clearance to go back to work on Monday. It'll be a busy two weeks as next Sunday evening  is our Christmas program so as the director, I have a lot of finishing touches to make and do. Then 2 weeks off for Christmas. So it'll be a good first test to see how things will go in "real" life. Excited and scared all in one.

Playing Catch Up

Been a month now since my surgery and I'm feeling pretty good. Still get little twinges now and then reminding me of what I've been through, but NOTHING like what I had! My only real complaint now is still just battling the exhaustion and also just knowing that there are still many things I can't do. The frustration level of seeing things that need to be done that I can't do (mopping the floor, raking leaves, vacuuming, etc) outweighs the physical pain now. So thankful for modern medicine. I did end up going to my doctor the other day as I had an infected incision site (stitch) and found out the pain I had upon urinating was not just healing but I had an infection there too. So more antibiotics and some topical cream and I'll be back again in 10 days to hopefully get the clearance to go back to work! I went over to the school for the annual Heritage Lunch (everyone brings a dish representing their heritage and it's a big buffet) before Thanksgiving break. Miss my kids so much. Feels like I've been gone all year! Kids are ready to have me back too (or so they think (evil laugh) ).

Put our Christmas Tree up today. Earlier than I usually do it (like to have Thanksgiving first before worrying about Christmas), but we will be out of town for the holiday and it'll be nice to not have to take an evening out for doing that so I can just focus on getting back into the habit of school. All the kids were able to put up the unbreakable ornaments and the bottom of the tree is LOADED with ornaments. But that's what makes even the same old pack-away tree and ornaments look different and unique each year.

3 week post-op

Had my follow up appointment this afternoon. Saw pics of my insides of the work that had to be done (wow! So glad i found a skillful surgeon!) Doc mentioned again how surprised he was at how much work had to be done especially since he cleaned up in there 8 months ago. He said he couldn't just cut down the tree but had to take all the roots with it. One in 6 chance it may regrow on the remaining ovary. Under doctors orders I will remain off work til thanksgiving. Exhaustion expected til into the spring. He says I won't feel "good" until then. Ugh. The battle is not over, but we at least know who is the victor! Praise God.

Coffee and tea

Addison thought I needed more to drink with my morning coffee this morning so she brought me some tea. How exactly does one drink yellow play doh?

Treat, treat and treat!

My little cuties tonight before hitting the streets for trick or treating:

Medical Update

As you know this has been a very long road and prayerfully this latest adventure ends the pain road and gets me back to being me. Warning: I may be a bit graphic. I just need an outlet.

I had a Laproscopic assisted vaginal hysterectomy on Monday the 17th and came home Wednesday afternoon. The surgery itself went fine. I was wheeled back to the OR just before the scheduled surgery time of 7am. I remember scooting over to the operating table and then was out. I briefly remember waking up in the recovery room just enough for them to tell me they were moving me to my room and then I woke up again in my hospital room with Jason by my side shortly after noon. The nurse got Jason a pillow and then we both napped again til around 2.

The surgery incision points were 2 pokes in my belly and then through my belly button. My left ovary was completely encapsulated by endometriosis and was removed but the right ovary was fine and doc was able to save that. The web of endo was all located behind my left hip and down the nerve and pulmonary artery. Doc said he had to dig and go lower than he is used to going with this type of surgery. My bladder and uterus were fused together with scar tissue. He freed the bladder and repaired it. My cervix was the 4th incision and my uterus was delivered vaginally and then cervix removed.

Post op, I had issues with my bp (too low) and it was never resolved. I was supposed to sit up and move to a chair Monday night, but I was so groggy. Tuesday morning the catheter was taken out and just before noon and I finally was able to sit up. When the doc saw me he told me I looked awful. (Gee thanks). Because I was so groggy he made the decision then that I would be staying a 2nd night. Wednesday morning I was feeling stronger, though my blood count was still consistently low. My hand that had the iv swelled up like a balloon and they had to take the iv out early but I think with that helped my leaving when I did. Doc met with me just before lunch and had told me he'd give me oral meds and see how I handled them and told me I could go home after dinner, but when the nurse came to check on me at 1, she said I was discharged and to arrange a ride. Jason was in the middle of a project so pastor came out and brought me home just after 2.

I have a 5lb lifting limit. My post op follow up appointment is on Nov. 7th.

Now 5 days post op, I still have a sore throat and cough developed from being intubated for surgery. The coughing does not help the belly healing. I also have a yellow, purple and blue bruise on my right side around the incision. I can not lie flat on my bed. I was able to sleep in my bed last night but I completely padded around my hips and back and woke up so stiff this morning I'm not sure it was worth it. I get sudden urges to pee and if I hold it even a minute, it BURNS to release. I had my first bowel movement post surgery this morning which brought about a pool of blood with it. Keeping my eye on that, but with it also made the gas pains for the most part subside for which I am thankful. My children are wonderful about being patient with mommy and helping get me blankets, papers, computer, etc. Jason is being as patient as he can with me being needy, but I know he's ready for me to pick up the wifely duties again. I have many wonderful friends from church making us meals and making sure the family is cared for, and I have the most wonderful neighbors whom I can send the kids to get a bath.

I have seen how God has been holding me throughout this entire process from even the one poke IV (which for me is AMAZING!!) to the care for my family. I must admit though that I am still impatient and am ready just to be able to DO again. I don't like having to wait and be waited on.

1 Week Post-op Belly still quite sore and bruised. There is still a bit of blood, but only when I wipe. I can sleep in my bed if I wrap my legs around a blanket and make a "pocket" of cushion for my hip. I can walk around pretty good and stairs do not hurt. If I stand too long the pain increases. I use a heating pad when I sit and that helps a lot. The pain meds (norco) wears off at about 5 1/2 hours (prescription is every 6 hours). The cough is dissipating but still there. I made it to Sunday School on Sunday but had to come home before church started. Baby steps and every day stronger.

2 weeks post-op Belly pain much better. Bruise is finally fading. Bleeding has stopped as well. Steri-strips have washed off but one side it still "raw" looking, so I put a band-aid back on it. Still have a lingering cough and it hurts the belly when I have to cough, but it's much better. I can sleep "normal" on my bed now but if I lay too long on my left side my leg becomes numb. The prescription pain meds have run out but I still need "something" so I take Ibuprofen when the pain gets to be too much. I can be up about an hour or so and then I get exhausted and have to rest. Sometimes it means a nap, other times, just relaxing in my recliner. I can get back up and function after a bit, but things are better the longer I can recoup. Hoping to proportionalize the up/down time and get back into a schedule so I can get my life back and hopefully get my classes back at school. I miss teaching.

Light em up!

The kids helped my mom and dad plant pumpkins at the woods this summer and when my mom came up a few weeks ago shared the crop with us. They of course picked out their favorite to carve up as jack o-lanterns. Payton wanted a "ninja" face, Ashleigh a "kitty", and Adi I made a simple smiley. Here is the process and final projects:

But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” Matthew 19:14

For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. Colossians 2:12

Our little man

Payton has taken a huge step of faith and has made the decision that he is ready to follow the Lords leading in his life and follow Him in believers baptism. Tomorrow at 10:30 will be a huge day not only in his life, but also in his walk with God. As his mother, I couldn't be any more proud. When he accepted Christ at the age of 3 1/2 I was taken back and reexamined just what it meant to have the faith of a child. It was never more real to me than at that moment. And tomorrow to see my little guy following such a huge step in his Christian walk, well, I don't know that I can put it into words.

Gone Geek

I just have to prove it can be done--typing a blog post from my iPhone. Yes. Thank you Apple for turning my inner geek into reality. Now maybe I'll keep up with this blog...

Back 2 School!

It's that time of year again! Tomorrow starts a new school year. Payton starts 2nd grade and Ashleigh will go to preschool 2 days a week. Adi will stay home with our neighbor who comes to our house. Ashleigh is doing great healing from her surgery. Couldn't even tell anymore that anything was done. She's as spunky as ever. I think they put in a little more boss to fill in what they took out. She told her brother today to clean his room or he wouldn't have a good day!

Tubes Round 2

When Ashleigh got her first round of tubes at 9 months of age she screamed and screamed and there was no comforting her until we were home. Tuesday was no different. She got re-tubed, and had her adenoids and tonsils out. I figured she'd put up a fight but I didn't realize how strong (literally!) she is. When she was waking up from the anesthesia she batted around and squirmed so much. I got her initially form the nurse's arms who carried her back from the OR, and after about 5 minutes I knew I physically could not do much. So I got in the hospital bed with her and just held her as tight as I could while Jason held her legs to try to keep her still. With all her screaming they had to keep trying to give her oxygen because it was too low. When she was finally able to fall back asleep I was able to take a rest with her. The pain of seeing my little one in pain hurt worse than my own pain, and it wasn't until we were back in the van coming home this afternoon that I realized my pain had taken a backseat and let me be the mom and comfort I needed to be for my child. I clearly saw God's hand  holding us BOTH up. She has graduated from her diet of gatorade and popsicles to jello and pudding and tomorrow may try a donut and bread. She seems to understand the diet restrictions okay and takes her medicine like a champ.

Busy Busy

July has been so busy! Jason and I got back a week ago after spending a weekend in prison. The video just came out of what this ministry is all about. Amazing time. 600+ kids spending time with over 240 dads (in Louisiana 100+ degree heat (index 103)! But yet I still got goosebumps seeing the passion these men have for their kids- even locked up. Looked out of society but not out of the hearts of their kids!

Awana Returning Hearts - Angola

Ashleigh

I took Ashleigh to the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor today since she has been complaining of her left ear hurting her. I've taken her to her pediatrician twice already for it and he recommended that we may want to go to the ENT to talk getting tubes again (she first had them put in when she was 9 months old). The ENT took a look at her ears and also visited with the audiologist there during the 3 hours we spent at the doctors office. Ruling is no tubes for now, but he prescribed ear drops and will re-evaluate her on a month.

Look ma! No wheels!

Payton crossed another milestone off his list today: ride his bike without training wheels! He's been working hard on balancing, and today we flipped the training wheels back just so we knew if they were indeed ready to come off. Then I showed him how to use the wrench to remove them and the smile that beamed across his face was completely priceless as he took off around the culdesac we live on. Not sure I was so ready for him to be 2-wheeling it, but he was.

9 years

Jason and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary yesterday amid 38 friends and family at the local custard shop just across town. Church friends and Jason's uncle Steve (the one that married us) all crammed into the little mom and pop shop and had a great time of celebrating and fellowship. We are so blessed to have such loving and wonderful friends (and yummy frozen custard!). Couldn't think of a better way to celebrate.

A mommy-cation

Jason and I were supposed to have gone to Louisiana this past weekend, so my parents were going to take the kids. Well, when our trip was postponed, they had vacation time still off, so they still said they'd take the kids -- giving Jason and I a vacation from kids. For 3 days we just enjoyed the quiet, and then Sunday I went and spent a few days at the woods and then brought the kids home. They were big helpers planting the garden (sunflowers and pumpkins) and helping pull weeds in the woods (yes- weeds IN the woods. Dumb garlic mustard!) Course, they also had fun riding the ATV and enjoying post-bathtime popcorn (a grandpa special!). Ashleigh said it best as we were leaving this afternoon: "mommy, when can we go back?" I think we may have started a tradition...but I may need to give my parents a bit of a break first... I know I enjoyed mine. But I'm also glad to get them back. It was too quiet without them home.

Mommy Devotional

Copied from my friend Julie. Just too beautiful not to share:

"mothering has grown me in ways i did even know were possible. you see, though i always wanted to have children, i am not the "kid type"... well, more like not the "baby type". pass me your baby & he or she will surely be crying within minutes. that said, sam & i waited a bit to start our family & wow.... how God has blown me away at the pure joy of mothering.

it is an awesome blessing & responsibility to nurture my little ones into adults who will someday spread their own wings and fly out into the world. who knew my heart could love so much? so endlessly. so selflessly. so unconditionally. i try to with my hubby of course, but really, in a marriage relationship there is give & take. a thank you. a smile. a gesture of love given back.

but, a newborn?! they sleep. they poop. they cry. a lot.
and yet, the instant i met my miracles, my heart fell fully in love with them forever. not based on what they did or who they would become, but simply because they were MINE. flesh of my flesh.

and, that gave me just a glimpse and realization of how our Heavenly Father loves us. definitely NOT because of what we have "done", but simply because we are His. He is all-out-fully in love with us. we are His."

5 to go!

Just 5 more days left in the school year! We were going to be packing up and heading down to Louisiana for a mission trip while the kids stayed with my parents for a week, but with recent severe weather and the threat of flooding, that event has been postponed. We're disappointed, but the kids and dads that have been waiting for this annual event have to be crushed. If you're the praying kind, please remember these over 750 kids and their fathers in prison.

Playing Around

I have my first photo shoot tomorrow with my new camera (a friend's 6 puppies!). I was playing with lighting tonight and used some willing- and not so willing subjects... thought you'd enjoy seeing the test shots.

Oh Mr. Kelby

My all-time photographic inspiration guru , Scott Kelby, was in town yesterday for a conference. We had a little tax refund money left, so Jason approved the spending, and I got the amazing opportunity to not only sit through a 7 hour conference where I saw 5 different lighting solutions and photo shoot (with models), but then my guru took and showed how he would edit them and add effects to make them "pop", but I also got to actually meet him and personally thank him for sharing his wealth of knowledge (and got my book signed). :) My mind was BLOWN. Sure, I've known a lot of the "little" tricks, but oh how your mind forgets when you don't play in photo software every day. Especially now with a new toy, now I feel I can do the camera justice and really make some kickin' wicked shots! I want to clean out a corner of the basement and set up a studio down there. SO inspired!

RIP

I have officially (finally) parted ways with my digital pro camera. It is a sad day and I feel like I lost a good friend. The dust had settled on her case, and after 6 months of laying in limbo hoping I'd one day be able to revive her, I let her go. But this story doesn't have a sad ending. For she has a replacement. Thanks to a friend who was upgrading and switching his loyalty to Nikon (cough, cough), I got a super deal on a wonderful new friend- a Canon 50D. For those who know nothing of the semi-pro cameras, just know that this is a beauty. The last of the titanium (read: heavy) bodies and just 2 years old. Happy early birthday, mothers day, and anniversary to me. If you or anyone you know is looking for a baby, high school senior, family, or wedding photographer, let me know!! I'm available. :)

Some recent cute moments

Returning Hearts

In just over a month from now, Jason and I will be heading to Louisiana with a group from our church to attend the Awana Returning Hearts event at Angola Prison. I know it sounds strange, but we are really looking forward to going to jail. This is an amazing ministry- enabling inmate fathers to spend the day with their kids. We are looking for more volunteers to help at this event. If you want more information, e-mail me.

 

From the Lifeline website: Our goal is to restore leadership within the family, provide hope and purpose for inmates and break this generational cycle. In the end - Awana Lifeline equips churches and parents to build a legacy of hope in Christ for children of inmates.
 

To sign up, go to http://www.awanalifeline.org/#/get-involved/serve-angola and click on volunteer application.

Meet us again.

I sent out a bunch of invites. Some who may have lost touch through the years, so here's a recap of us and what we're up to these days.
After the economy downturn, Jason found himself not getting the jobs needed to sustain our lifestyle. We lost our house to foreclosure a year ago, and moved into the second parsonage that our church owns. While not an ideal situation to lose your house, God has truly blessed us by opening doors enabling us to still have a home. In April last year I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease - an allergy to wheat. I lost 60 pounds in that battle to figure out what was wrong and during the adjustment period of finding a whole new way to eat. In December I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. Again, we are very blessed to have an awesome church family stepping in to care for not only me, but also my family and especially the kids when I physically couldn't. Psalm 90:14-17 says: "Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives. Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery! Replace the evil years with good. Let us, your servants, see you work again; let our children see your glory. And may the Lord our God show us his approval and make our efforts successful.Yes, make our efforts successful!" We are claiming this our family verse as we look to God to bring us through some very rough times. But we are also thankful for them as we have been able to grow stronger together as a family and closer to God as we look to Him to bring us through.

The kids:
Payton is 6 years old and in first grade. He loves monster trucks and playing soccer. He came to know Christ in June of 2009. He amazes me at how much and how well he understands and trusts God. If I can only be like him in my faith! He is an excellent reader and loves to read to his little sisters.

Ashleigh just turned 4 last month. She is a little spitfire and can be a handful, but that may also be the princess in her. She is definitely a girly-girl. The absolute opposite of me. But she is also an absolute dear and has a very caring soul. She attends preschool in the mornings. Payton led her to the Lord in May of 2010, but she still says the funniest things like "Daddy, you're stronger than God!"

Addison turned 2 in February and she is our cuddle bug. Seriously, this girl will NOT let you sit on the couch with your lap empty.

We've Moved.

Our old blog had some followers that we no longer wished to follow our lives. So forgive the shift of this blog. Hope you still follow along. And please comment when you do! I like to see who is reading. I will try to make more frequent posts this blog.